Sadie’s Winter Solstice Surrender

It may have been as ridiculous

As striving to restrain a rushing nor’easter

But every year at Christmas time

Sadie worked to stop her dark

She tried so hard

Pushing and pulling the light all around her

Decorating with ornaments and tinsel

Stringing together comfort like

It is impossible to give until it hurts

Sadie wrapped presents

Gave kisses

And tried not to notice

As every year her hands began to close

And her stomach grew knots

That fear rising

Afraid of what she could not stop

Sadie would struggle against

Her dark coming

Singing carols, writing cards

Until her thoughts came too slow and cloudy

So just as the child was ready to be born

Sadie would fall curled up on her couch

Drinking warm holiday tea

Staring into the candles lined up on her tree

It was then every year

That Christmas held Sadie

All her fear and dark

Could never stop that bright

And although Sadie could only sit

Wide eyed and very quiet

She was thankful for the birth

As she let go–

Embraced in the sweet child’s light.

 

 

Separation

For me

Being human

Is in the need

To find the metaphor

(Even though

I am

The meaning)

Being human

Is an ache

To hold that spark

Who created me

(Even though

We are one).

So Sad

In this time

Blessed with holiday spark

Great grief comes

Morning tears

And evening agitation

But even in my dark

The Christmas candles still shine

And your touch still warms me

Reminding

“You’ll be fine.”

ornament2

In this holiday season, sending love to all my fellow WordPress bloggers. My heart is especially with those who struggle with grief during this special time. So thankful for all of you here! 🙂

-Jennifer

It’s a Surface Thing

Being a woman

I have spent

Too much time

Holding on to my surfaces

Worshipping things that keep me tight

So those curves he might appreciate

What if instead

I just let go

As if naked

Eyes closed

Lying in the bath

Warm water could pour all over me

Loving every inch

Until there are no surfaces

Only skin breathing

As my soul breathes

In the place of perfect give and take

Like that night

You let your kisses fall

As moonbeams across my back.

Finding My Way Part 2

He chose to starve

For the feast was always

In front of him

He just turned

To look the other way

When tempted by its smell

What would be the point

To partake now

The hunger had grown its place

In every part of him

The ache in his gut

The haze to his thoughts

The loneliness in all his feelings

If he chose

Right now

To ask to be fed

Who would he be?

Finding My Way

How is it

That sometimes

When I give

And then empty

I just ache

With a hunger of never been fed

But

That sometimes

When I give

And then empty

I find myself full

With the light of ten thousand angels?

The Gift

The Gift

Is found every morning

It lies at my feet

It jumps up

To be held in my arms

For the Gift

Is whatever comes in front of me

All that is there

Is all that I will ever have

(And all I ever need to do

Is wake up

And gently open it).

second christmas tree

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